Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Have I made my mark on this world?

Not my carbon foot-print, not in a bad way. I want to leave my part of this planet better than it was when I first arrived. My 6 billionth of the land. Well, a little less than that now. Or maybe a little more. I can't be sure. Ever. That's a bit scary.

I do quite like to now what's happening, how it's happening, who's making it happen and when this happening starts and finishes. I don't necessarily have to be in control; I just have to feel like things are going smoothly. I like surprises, but would find it an incredibly dubious entity to be lead to a place without having any inkling as to what that place could be.

I feel like I'm living up to my potential academically, but I'm wasting possible talents by not partaking in enough extra-curricular activities. In Year 8, aged 12-13, I joined a local drama club and felt so at home there. For the first term we did a production of Pinocchio and I absolutely adored every session.

However, things began to go down hill when for the next two terms we did an extended production on war and kings and some other things from the Middle Ages. It sounds good in theory, but rather than being one drama piece it was snippets from many others, some devised by the group, others scripted. It just didn't gel well at all and I loathed one of the drama teachers' attitudes as he never seemed satisfied - always agitated. And after that anti-climatic production I didn't return to the drama club.

I want to find something similar but on a larger scale. Something where I'm not just always performing to parents and friends - I want to perform to people who aren't biased and come purely because they want to see an actor, not Abby, perform. I want to have to audition and experience the real world of theatre.

More than anything, I want to sing and dance at the same time, too. Well, maybe not all at once, but I'd love to be in musicals. I can't really be sure that my singing is good, but I seem to faire quite well when singing in an accent. And dancing... that could use a bit of work. But I'm a fast learner and seem to have a natural aptitude for ballet as my mother does. I want to learn a lot.

I've realised that I'd also love to learn to play the piano. Regina Spektor has been the main influence in this. I don't think I can do everything, though, so I think it would be to concentrate on either performing arts or the piano. I'll try.

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