Change

I had my interview with the sixth-form college that I most definitely want to go to and have known this since I was 11. I think it went well - the teacher was friendly, informative and completely accepted my indecisiveness. We discussed the IB and A-levels and established that currently I can't choose between languages and sciences. However, I don't have to make my final subject choices until September so that's fine.

Furthermore, today I realised that people can change hugely for the better. Sometimes it may happen in unpleasant circumstances, but ultimately it's often better just to let the past go for a minute and see what's changed. Because things do change, and sometimes for the better.

Excuses

I know I'm quite biased when it comes to Drama, but I've never really understood how people can blame their reluctance to act on shyness.

I understand that it can be difficult to overcome timid, reserved, quiet nature (been there, done that, but it's a good thing to do). However, many actors are shy people, not necessarily incredibly sociable or extroverted, but still they're amazing because acting is faking it. Yes, there are technical elements and it is one of the most beautiful arts of all, but ultimately a good actor is a good liar with the uncanny ability to get inside absolutely any character's head and fully embody that persona. An enjoyable challenge.

After all, many aspects of life are false, particularly beauty. Nails, hair, tan, makeup - it's all one grand façade. So perhaps, deep down, everyone's a bit of a Thespian.

For those whom it may concern...

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

That's where I found the personality disorder test. Enjoy.

I took a personality disorder test

My results were:
Paranoid - Low
Schizoid - Low
Schizotypal - Moderate
Antisocial - Low
Borderline - Low
Histronic - High
Narcisstic - Low
Avoidant - Low
Dependent - Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive - High

Analysis:
Schizotypal - Very, very slightly agree with. I am odd, but have no such anxiety, shyness or obsession with paranormal phenomena
Histronic - Hmm, I can be suggestible in some situations and I do use extravagant language at times. Okay, and I sometimes like being the centre of attention. But I don't feel a need for it.
Dependent - I do hate feeling alone, sometimes feel the need for praise and am very indecisive. But oddly enough I'm quite independent in the way that I'm comfortable in my own company and feel strong enough to accept criticism or dislike from others.
Obsessive-Compulsive - I completely agree. This term gets thrown around a lot and I tried to reassure myself that I was fine but recently I've come to the point where I can admit that I may have a problem. Very nearly all the symptoms match up to me and it's kind of scary but oh well. I'd kind of like to be properly diagnosed because I just want to know and maybe get some help. The name of this blog comes from the fact that my hands often end up bright pink/red, dry, cracked and occasioanlly bleeding from excessive hand washing, but that's only the surface of this potential thing.

That was interesting. I like knowing that I'm okay.