The first tears of happiness

People talk of crying with happiness, but before today it's never actually happened to me. I suppose it was the overwhelming sense of relief and joy that spread though me when I got my Science test results. I suppose being nervous discourages complacency. Now I'm constantly looking to the final exams and results day. Everything I've sacrificed in these two years will be completely worth it.

Hershi, you'll be pleased to know...

I certainly do not plan to be an English teacher. I can't handle the ambiguity. Oh, and Welsh Board, please, I beseech you, pardon my heinous mistake of using emotive language to describe an equally emotive and imagery-laden piece. (Hopefully you'll detect the sarcasm in that last sentence)

Well, all I can say is despite my marking failure, at least I'm past the phase when I was so worried about offending anyone that I would give any piece of work near-full marks. Peer marking does not work - it simply shames and deprecates others.

Oh, and one more little thing - I don't usually ask for a consistent approach to education, but I must admit that it would be nice sometimes. Just last week, I was told to throw as much knowledge and explanation that I could muster into all answers in Science, yet in English Language my demise is constantly my excessive justification. I just like to be thorough, and I feel unable to leave anything unattended to.

The only consolation is that now I'm certain of what to do. Despite the question in question being a 'What are your impressions...?' affair, I must only focus on the physical entities for such texts and leave the emotive language in my ranting drawer.

For those whom it may concern...

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

That's where I found the personality disorder test. Enjoy.

I took a personality disorder test

My results were:
Paranoid - Low
Schizoid - Low
Schizotypal - Moderate
Antisocial - Low
Borderline - Low
Histronic - High
Narcisstic - Low
Avoidant - Low
Dependent - Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive - High

Analysis:
Schizotypal - Very, very slightly agree with. I am odd, but have no such anxiety, shyness or obsession with paranormal phenomena
Histronic - Hmm, I can be suggestible in some situations and I do use extravagant language at times. Okay, and I sometimes like being the centre of attention. But I don't feel a need for it.
Dependent - I do hate feeling alone, sometimes feel the need for praise and am very indecisive. But oddly enough I'm quite independent in the way that I'm comfortable in my own company and feel strong enough to accept criticism or dislike from others.
Obsessive-Compulsive - I completely agree. This term gets thrown around a lot and I tried to reassure myself that I was fine but recently I've come to the point where I can admit that I may have a problem. Very nearly all the symptoms match up to me and it's kind of scary but oh well. I'd kind of like to be properly diagnosed because I just want to know and maybe get some help. The name of this blog comes from the fact that my hands often end up bright pink/red, dry, cracked and occasioanlly bleeding from excessive hand washing, but that's only the surface of this potential thing.

That was interesting. I like knowing that I'm okay.

My laptop's ailing...

The cable went wrong again so the battery is running out fast. Thus, I'm on my parents' five-year-old computer at the moment. Fortunately, it has a shiny new widescreen monitor.

Friday was a joyous day for me. I spent the whole summer holiday (seven and a half weeks) worrying about something to find that it turned out more than okay - it turned out absolutely amazing. This has spurred me on and I'm looking forward to next summer. I'll finally maybe have a bit of wreckless fun and be carefree again.

Over the summer I had to write a monolgue for Drama based on the stimulus 'Blood, Sweat, Tears and Tantrums'. Horribly cliche, I know, but I managed in the end. I wrote four monologues and was only happy with the last one, which I wrote today while listening to Regina Spektor. It's amazing that no matter what her songs are about, at least one of them always manages to inspire me.

In around 31 or so weeks I will be free from my secondary school. I really, really, really can't wait for that day. Sixth form college and university will ensue. And so will happiness (hopefully).

Hmm, I'll make no apologies for this post even though I think it's slightly boring. It's a Sunday - what can I say?