Things that have changed since the last post:

• I've started sixth-form college properly
• I've changed from A-Levels to the IB
• I've eaten sushi recently
• I've seen Swan Lake
• I've tried a cheese layered salad - and enjoyed it
• I've become ill for the first time in five months (that must be a record!)
• I've made vanilla and Nutella cupcakes
• I've been walking 15-20 minutes, not 2 minutes, to school
• I've talked to boys(!)
• I've missed my secondary school in ways I never imagined I would
• I've discovered the Starbucks five minutes away from school (thanks, Sara!)
• I've seen 'Sweet Lovers' Plums' - and plan to buy some
• I've completed a practical in Chemistry without screaming/jumping/standing a metre away from the bunsen burner
• I've seen the boy at school who wears a suit everyday
• I've introduced myself to dozens of different people
• I've developed a penchant for the Drench drinks sold at school
• I haven't stopped calling my 'college' a school - if I'm learning, it's a school!

Ignorance is not bliss

I find it really disconcerting if I don't know something, but know enough about it to feel as if I should know more. This might be part of the reason why I don't want to give any subjects up.

I love every subject so much. I don't want to give anything up.

I usually embrace change, but I'll be so sad to stop studying anything. This is a huge period of change, and I just don't think I'm ready give up so much. Unfortunately, I can't take ten A-Levels.

"Non, je ne regrette rien," "Vraiment? C'est possible?"

Actually, I don't know about regrets. I don't want to regret anything that I did academically, because I worked as hard as possible, so I really do hope that I achieve the results that I (along with my teachers) want. If I do, I'll have no regrets in terms of school.

As for regrets in other areas of life, I've never really done anything serious that's worthy or regret. Through what is essentially my own doing, my life has been sheltered, so I've had no opportunity to make some of the stupid mistakes that youths are supposed to make, according to newspapers, anyway.

But, on a more indulgent note, I think my parents and I regret the fact that we haven't been on more holidays abroad together. We've visited France, Belgium, Spain, Monaco (which is so small that it barely qualifies as a country - the country equivalent to Pluto, perhaps) and Ireland. Of course, we're lucky to have experienced these trips, as there are many families who can't afford any holiday at all, let alone one outside the UK.

However, yesterday my mother and I were thinking about our holiday past, and we realised that we should do more. We can get away with the environmental impact - we're recycling vegetarians without a car who fly no more than once a year, if that - and my parents are good with money so we'd have enough to do something nice.

One of the main problems is my aversion to heat. I just can't take it, and I burn so easily that I'd probably spend most of the time applying sun cream. Inevitably, this limits out holiday options. At some point I'll probably brave a hot country, but I'd need to build up my resistance - starting with an activity as simple as spending a few hours in the sun (well protected, of course), or visiting the beach for the first time in around four years

Even two months after I last had to carry a ridiculously heavy shoulder bag at school, my right shoulder still aches.

It's really quite odd, and it brings the memories flooding back. I find it quite funny how one little thing reminds me of so many aspects of secondary school, Year 11 in particular.

Oh... Just, oh

Admittedly, I'm thrilled to be out of uniform and free from the realms of black and white clothing. But this does mean that I must now start clothes shopping. Hmm...

I'm not a natural shopper. I enjoy looking at clothes, and I have no problem with spending money, but it's mainly the trying-on process that puts me off the idea. As a result, I haven't bought clothes (excluding pyjamas, school uniform and a few pieces that my mother got me when I had almost none left and was about to go to Spain) for two years and four months. Yes, really.

Whenever I venture into town (which was a rare occurrence this academic year), after eating I ususally head straight for the toiletry shops e.g. Lush, L'Occitane et al. When I do spend money, most goes on friends' birthday presents (which I really must buy soon), nice-smelling soaps, shower gels, bath products, cleansers etc. or books and magazines. Not that I'll have to fork out for clothes, anyway - I've saved my parents an awful lot of money due to my lack of clothes shopping, so I think they'll have to make up for it.

Most would surely be excited about a major clothes-shop. I, however, am not.

Not 'je suis fini' - I'm not dead

Well, that's it - 11.5 GCSEs, plus many miscellaneous qualifications, done. But I've kind of gone into a state of shock. I watched TV for over an hour in one go today, even after I'd finished eating, and it felt so strange. It was almost as if I was having withdrawal symptoms due to a lack of revision. I really don't know what I'm going to do this summer.

Actually, I suppose I do, a bit. My father came up to me the other day and said 'Abby, we're going to Alton Towers whether you like it or not!' Well, luckily I do. I haven't been for five years and at that stage I was only brave enough to go on the mildly scary rides like Corkscrew and the Spinball Whizzer. But now I feel a little more valiant, so my father and I will face the queues and take on some of the theme park's more intense offerings. After all, what could be more fun than experiencing a force four and a half times your natural weight?

Other planned summer events include numerous trips to London, a visit to Frome and perhaps even a short break in Paris and/or Marseille (j'adorerais avoir une occasion de parler le français en France, bien sûr!) I'd also like to see Avenue Q again, for the fifth time! Actually, I happen to be listening to the soundtrack right now.

Oh, is that an end in sight?

After an intensive week and a half of exams, I've now finished over half of my GCSEs - I'm getting there! Today was my final official day of secondary school before exam leave - an emotional whirlwind filled with signing autographs books, taking pictures, hugging and me pretending to be a dinosaur hatching out of an egg in RS. I really will miss so many people, quite a few teachers and some of the aspects of the school. I know I've outgrown it now, but it served me well for five years.

I've decided that today should be a break - no revision (what a novelty!), a bit of Facebook and music, and even arranging to see Sam for the first time in so long.

I didn't acknowledge that it was my birthday last Sunday and just persevered with revision. Of course, I will celebrate my birthday, and I'm going to do it properly during the summer. You know that phrase 'work hard play hard'? Well, perhaps I'll epitomise that during the summer - I've worked painstakingly during these past two years, so I really need to, er, 'play hard'. And by this, I mean that I'll maybe throw a birthday party, visit London, go on holiday, see friends, read for fun, learn a new skill and just partake in all the things that I've longed to do but have put off due to revision in GCSE years.

Never before has the phrase 'the end is in sight' been more relevant - it's exactly four weeks until my final exam. Four weeks from now, I will be rejoicing. It's not been an easy two years, but the time has had many fun points and was full of new experiences.

Oh yes, and I'm sixteen now. Okay, right, this is... exactly the same. Not that I expected to feel any different. When you don't celebrate your birthday, it's really just another day.

More a yardstone than a mile

Today I came to the realisation that in less than a month I'll be 16 and under two months from now I'll have finished all my GCSE exams for ever. But, as has been the case for around 5 years now, I'm not at all excited for my birthday because:

• It's going to be revision-filled. I have exams the next day and in the following weeks. There's really no time to celebrate.
• As usual, I plan to postpone my birthday. I haven't even received my main presents for my 15th birthday because I postponed it and then never really got back into the birthday mood.
• I don't really feel like having a party or anything of the sort. Of course, I want to spend time with friends and family to mark the occasion.
• Although 16 is considered quite a milestone birthday, I don't really have anything to look forward to. I just want to make this a fulfilling year of life.
• The idea of buying lottery tickets, sex and being able to drink one glass of beer or cider with a meal in a licensed pub accompanied by an adult does not excite me.

What a sensible (boring) and mature (disdainful) 16-year-old I'm going to be.

Disregarding pretension

No matter how pretentious it may sound to burst into a foreign language unannounced...

Mon examen oral de français est fini - comme c'est marveilleux!/Mi examen oral de español es terminado - ¡Qué maravilla!

Which translates as 'My French/Spanish oral exam is finished - how marvellous!' Of course, it's a big relief - I've been preparing for these exams for months and had to learn many pages of answers for both exams which were within a week of each other. This weekend I became quite ill with some kind of flu/cold/sore throat combination, thus making the Spanish oral of today even more difficult. But both are done now and I can resume revision for the written exams.

The skin on my thumb looks like that of a roasted chestnut

Most of my blog posts come to mind when my brain lets go a little and just starts to conjure up random ideas. A phrase might pop out at me, such as the title of the post, and then I'll just write. I hate routine andwant my blog to reflect my eclectic life, so after I the title has come about I try to let the words flow.

So, normally I shun the 'I did this, then this, before doing this' etc. type of posts as my life tends to spill out of traditional blog formats, but I feel that this week in particular could provide some interest...

Monday - Shuffle into school awaiting five hours of Drama for my final exam. Get on with the work surprisingly well, considering how scary the whole prospect of the final exam is, and return home proud of my group and our progress.

Tuesday - Pretty much do the norm in lessons, except Biology and Chemistry in which revision notes are attempted. Become frustrated at the messiness of my handwriting and hail the mighty computer.

Wednesday - Buckle down to another full day of the Drama exam. With the fellow group members, manage to finish devising our piece. Perform it to the teachers in the afternoon and receive a surprisingly warm reception. Stay at school until 4.40 pm finishing my portfolio, before trudging home to make revision notes about railways in Britain 1815-51.

Thursday - Act as an American gossip columnist persuading the magazine editor, my teacher, to run a story about Ashley Cole having further affairs, possibly with a man this time. Receive full marks and rejoice that something that comes to me so naturally worked out well. Continue through the day as normal.

Friday - Spend the morning frantically preparing for the Drama exam performance to the moderator. Squeeze every ounce of acting talent into the eventual performance and hope.

Saturday - Mill about the house writing my History coursework on the economy in Nazi Germany. Feel mentally taxed, and somehow physically, too.

Sunday - Do the same thing as yesterday, but over a longer period of time. Meticulously check through my work, print the 14-page essay and feel proud of myself. Take a pleasant bath, followed by an energetic shower.

Oh, and in less than one week I'll be in Spain, to revise for my upcoming Languages Orals, of course. ¡Adios por ahora!

(For reference, my the skin on my thumb looks like that of a roasted chestnut because on Wednesday I was 'hammering' the floor all day in Drama and this wore away the skin on my thumb. I've been wearing a plaster almost constantly since then which has wrinkled my skin)

I think I shined today

I was in my element. But I'd better shine even brighter tomorrow.

The first tears of happiness

People talk of crying with happiness, but before today it's never actually happened to me. I suppose it was the overwhelming sense of relief and joy that spread though me when I got my Science test results. I suppose being nervous discourages complacency. Now I'm constantly looking to the final exams and results day. Everything I've sacrificed in these two years will be completely worth it.

Provisions, projects, planning

A brief plan of the near future, without too much thinking involved.

March - Finish French and Spanish Oral Booklets, learn them, begin to make notes of other subjects to revise, perform final Drama exam piece.

April - Focus on revision for French and Spanish Orals, do the exams, build up revision of other subjects.

May - Continue to revise, do some of my GCSE exams, maybe think about the fact that I turn 16.

June - Finish revision, do the rest of my GCSE exams.

July - Get over the shock of (temporarily) having no more coursework/homework/revision to do, have fun, go to London and Glasgow.

August - More of the same, maybe go to Somerset, Bristol and Paris, receive my GCSE results and (hopefully) rejoice.

September - Start sixth-form, work very hard again, make some new friends (while keeping in touch with old ones), establish myself as a new person.

October - Continue to work hard, begin revision for any upcoming January exams, go to an expensive hotel.

December - Revise for my January exams, celebrate Christmas.

So, that might be my year, if things go to plan.

So, this is what my life has been reduced to

Today I had to refuse invitations both to the cinema with my mother and to town with two friends as I simply have too much work to do. Okay, I'm making progress (and so I should be considering that I've been working hard for at least 2 hours a day during this half term!) but I'm still not close to finishing. The consolation is that I've finished my Drama portfolio, but that took until Monday to do and the completed 'notes' as the examiners ridiculously call them span 15 pages in Microsoft Word (font - Arial, size 12) and total 5718 words. Now, still on my to-do list is:

• Finish the History coursework question. I've done every section except the last, so it'll just be that and the introduction which I can definitely finish this weekend. Although it's not a hugely difficult essay (and a mini-essay at that), I've tried to find as much relevant information as possible to put in so have been scouring the internet as well as my two text books and source sheet, so while writing it I've been very precise and have frequently tweaked it if when slightly unsatisfied.
• Get some more of the Statistics coursework done. Due to my preoccupation with the History coursework, I only really started typing this Statistics work up yesterday. I've basically finished all of the preliminary sections and can now start calculating (and then meticulously checking because one tiny mistake in Statistics can throw your whole investigation off balance) I think my Maths teacher is checking the work either at the end of the coming week or the beginning of the next, but the more I finish over half term, the smoother my return to school next week will be.
• Try to write more of my answers for the French and Spanish Oral booklets. My love of languages leads me to feel a little patronised by these resources, and I think my teachers see this. I understand that there are a wide range of topics that must be covered in modern languages, but I'm highly frustrated by the omnipresent 'Décrire ta maison' (describe your house) or 'Hablame de tus ratos libres' (talk to me about your free time) It's such a vacuous conversation that you end up having with the examiner and I don't think many people care about the fact that I've had the same purple curtains with stars and moons on since I was seven, or that usually I enjoy riding my bike because it's a healthy thing and I love being out in the open. I want to discuss issues that affect me, and the only current-affair topic is how to improve the environment which has very little weighting in the exam as it doesn't provide a huge opportunity to use the past, present, future or conditional tenses. However, fortunately A-level languages encourage and foster a far more mature speaking style which I've been yearning for ever since I first heard the 'What is your bedroom like?' question.
• Start revision properly for the final May/June exams. Argh, less than 3 months now until they begin!

So, as much as I wanted to partake in both of the aforementioned activities today, I simply couldn't. It's just been working and eating today. Oh, and a bath, of course.

I completely accept having to stay in all day working and revising because I constantly look ahead. I imagine myself on results day, crying with happiness for the first time in so long. For that moment, I won't care that I live where I do, or about cleanliness or the tangles in my hair, just the wonder of that moment. And then it's all worth it, for I have nothing to regret. When I work as hard as I possibly can on something, I know that I've done everything in my power to achieve the grades that I want.

Another reason that I was forced to resign myself to the house today is my plan for tomorrow. This was booked last year so of course I couldn't rearrange it, and thus had to compensate by working extra hard today. I'm going to see the Rocky Horror Show, so that should be interesting and camp enough for my liking. Of course, true to my nature, I'll be working in the morning and afternoon tomorrow because the show's in the evening.

In total, this half term has offered very little 'break' as it promised, but at least it signifies my nearing the end of secondary school life.

'That's some next pencil case'

Oh, Drama. The only place where you can find such a diverse range of people, including those who are perfectly willing to criticise your sensible pencil case (and who you must admit are a tad bit chavvy)

Returning to my group, decided by the teacher, I opened my pencil case to dig around for something with a bit of ink left in it. At this point, I was greeted with the phrase 'That's some next pencil case' from a girl who seemed to see a pencil case purely as a place to slap the Playboy Bunny logo onto.

Now, I can't say I really know what 'next' means, but having perused Urban Dictionary it seems to have many meanings, some of the most prevalent being stupid, crazy, random or shit.

Granted, my pencil case is no an opulent wonder. It's plain black, with a handle at the top and when carried from this it looks like a mini briefcase. It has no patterns, flowers, hearts, words or slutty rabbits logos, but has pockets inside to keep pens in place and came with a bonus mesh zipper bag which I use to store coloured pens. It may not be fashionable, and admittedly it is hugely practical, but it's lasted me over 18 months and has served me faithfully, so I don't see how it can be labelled stupid, crazy, random or shit.

Therefore, slightly-chavvy-girl, your comment is invalid. My pencil case is not 'next' and will do its duties long after your Playboy offering is holed and stained.

It can't be that bad

Today was fun, as expected. I went to Sam's house where we watched loads of puerile/tacky/crappy TV (informercials, World's Worst Husband and Take Me Out, anyone?) before baking, icing and decorating mini chocolate sponge cakes. All in all, highly enjoyable.

It's the half term and I'm making a mental agenda for my work. So far, it is as follows:

• Finish Drama portfolio. There isn't too much of this, it's just important to go into plenty of detail wherever possible.
• Complete the first question/'mini essay' of my History coursework. As long as I do a paragraph each day it should go as planned.
• Summarise work on The Poor for History revision on one to two sides of A4. This will definitely be a useful exercise so that's not a problem.
• Have a good venture into the Statistics coursework. This is a little complicated and I think my maths teacher, great though he is, could have explained it to the class a little better. Nonetheless, he'll be checking it to make sure everything's alright, so as long as I write up my hypothesis and start some of the calculations hopefully everything will be alright.
• Sections One and Two of the Chemistry homework booklet. I really enjoy Chemistry (and everything scientific, really) so this is no problem.
• If possible, fill in as much as possible in my French and Spanish Oral Booklets. Though this can seem a little tedious, I just let it flow and write as I do in English, so it's really not as terrible as it seems and this isn't an urgent matter.
  
• If I have any spare time, maybe do a little revision. This isn't pressing at the moment, but I want to use every bit of my time wisely. A few Maths questions wouldn't go amiss, and I must admit they can be quite enjoyable, too. Perhaps some English Language and Literature practice as well.
  

It seems like a mighty pile of homework, but I think once I make a dent everything will hopefully just follow naturally.

Centripetal spill

A blur, a bang, a broom... okay, well that last one was actually a mop, but would the rule of two really have the same impact? Anyway, you'd never really suspect a humble water-filled bucket and some string to cause the level of entertainment experience in Physics today. I know I never did.

Naturally, trudging into the dulled, yet somehow enthralling, class room I awaited the norm - a few work sheets here, some calculations there and in general an affirming lesson proving to myself that this knowledge will reside in my head for the long-term.

So when, having completed the routine, my teacher pulled out the seemingly innocuous apparatus of a bucket filled with water hanging off a string, the class buzzed with excitement at a subtle change to the standard fare. Of course, this had a point - it was a model to demonstrate how centripetal forces (those acting towards the centre of an object and cause it to follow a circular path).

After watching our teacher hesitantly make the full circle (admittedly, it is a frightening thing and you really have to go for it with vigour) and impressively contain all of the water, it was the turn of any willing volunteer. As I, among others, suspected, one of my more daring peers and a regular hand-raiser got straight up to have ago. I shuffled back in my seat (you know, just in case), but inside knew that any soaking would be well worth the laugh. It looked promising as she began to swing the bucket and build momentum, but one over-zealous arm movement and water gushed down triumphantly, as if fooled into thinking that it had beaten centripetal forces. It spread itself out nicely, too, spanning around 6 feet, yet somehow no one was even splattered.

Now, as you probably know, school's never the most fascinating or humourous place, so when an utterly amazing and hilarious thing like this happens, it's impossible to contain yourself. The class, teacher et al, erupted in a haze of contagious laughter, literally to the extent that tears raced down my face, perhaps to join their floor-based liquid companions. Our teacher didn't appear at all frustrated and simply began to mop up while still in convulsions of laughter, which only added to the sheer splendour of that lesson. So, it all turned out to be even more exciting than could have ever been anticipated, and I know I'll remember the law of centripetal force now!

"And I'll never return here again"

Frankly, I don't want to. So many talented people; their creativity stifled. Well, from an outside point of view, anyway.

Morals aside...

The fish dissection was terribly interesting. The poor creature was a sardine from Morrisons, and we began by inserting a probe through his (it had a sperm sack) alimentary canal. We were 'lucky' as the probe came out of his anus, and from here we cut up to its chin and opened it out. At first it was daunting, but soon I became accustomed to poking and pulling the corpse, so it was fine.

We then removed the sperm sack, the intestines and the heart, which was kind of pyramid-shaped. Following this were the gills which contained many red false-eyelash-like surfaces. Upon extracting these, we saw that they had a large surface area to enable gas exchange to take place adequately (this was, of course, the point of the dissection, so it paid off).

After examining the semi-inflated swim bladder which kept the fish afloat when swimming, we moved on to the eyes. At first it was a rather violent affair - we pulled the eye up using the surgical forceps and snipped the connections. After this, it was time to find the lens, and having rolled perforated eye ball around a little, out popped a perfectly spherical transparent ball. This was the fish eye lens, the origin of the eponymous camera lens. This was quite a specimen, and on hovering the lens over newspaper we could read the text, albeit with the distortion that one would expect from a fish eye lens (Google some fish eye lens images if you want to).

Finally, and most brutally of all, we cut open the sardine's head just above the eyes (or, rather, where they were before we ripped them out). Brain tissue was pulled out and we came across the hard cartilage, but then it was time for the ambitious task of removing the spinal cord. With my partner, Sara, grabbing the fish I used the surgical forceps to pull at the spinal cord with all of my supposed might, but, alas, we were cut short and forced to dispose of Lesley, our sardine.

Despite the spinal cord failure, it was a thoroughly enjoyable and enlightening experience, however I can't say I'll soon be cutting up anything outside the human food chain that has been killed specifically for dissection. After all, it's more beneficial to dissect a sardine than it is to eat it.