That's a novelty

This October, for my aunt's 50th birthday, my family and I are going to a rather luxurious hotel (especially compared to what I'm used to - Travelodge et al.), and the dress code - set by my aunt - is strictly formal.

For a female, formal is of course code for a dress, coiffed hair, and maybe some heels if you can walk in them. This will certainly be a new experience for me, considering that I haven't worn anything resembling a dress/skirt for around nine years. I don't know how I'll fare, but there's really no choice.

I thought the dress would be a good place to start, and while I haven't even gotten round to buying the normal clothes that I'm in desperate need of for college, I can always do a bit of online window shopping.

Topshop and A|wear are as far as my shopping ventures have extended as yet, but after a quick browse it seems like they might have some appropriate dresses. I intend to post some of my favourites, but perhaps not all now as I have a sex education programme featuring the comedian who played Little Cook in Big Cook Little Cook to watch.

Oh, is that an end in sight?

After an intensive week and a half of exams, I've now finished over half of my GCSEs - I'm getting there! Today was my final official day of secondary school before exam leave - an emotional whirlwind filled with signing autographs books, taking pictures, hugging and me pretending to be a dinosaur hatching out of an egg in RS. I really will miss so many people, quite a few teachers and some of the aspects of the school. I know I've outgrown it now, but it served me well for five years.

I've decided that today should be a break - no revision (what a novelty!), a bit of Facebook and music, and even arranging to see Sam for the first time in so long.

I didn't acknowledge that it was my birthday last Sunday and just persevered with revision. Of course, I will celebrate my birthday, and I'm going to do it properly during the summer. You know that phrase 'work hard play hard'? Well, perhaps I'll epitomise that during the summer - I've worked painstakingly during these past two years, so I really need to, er, 'play hard'. And by this, I mean that I'll maybe throw a birthday party, visit London, go on holiday, see friends, read for fun, learn a new skill and just partake in all the things that I've longed to do but have put off due to revision in GCSE years.

Never before has the phrase 'the end is in sight' been more relevant - it's exactly four weeks until my final exam. Four weeks from now, I will be rejoicing. It's not been an easy two years, but the time has had many fun points and was full of new experiences.

Oh yes, and I'm sixteen now. Okay, right, this is... exactly the same. Not that I expected to feel any different. When you don't celebrate your birthday, it's really just another day.

More a yardstone than a mile

Today I came to the realisation that in less than a month I'll be 16 and under two months from now I'll have finished all my GCSE exams for ever. But, as has been the case for around 5 years now, I'm not at all excited for my birthday because:

• It's going to be revision-filled. I have exams the next day and in the following weeks. There's really no time to celebrate.
• As usual, I plan to postpone my birthday. I haven't even received my main presents for my 15th birthday because I postponed it and then never really got back into the birthday mood.
• I don't really feel like having a party or anything of the sort. Of course, I want to spend time with friends and family to mark the occasion.
• Although 16 is considered quite a milestone birthday, I don't really have anything to look forward to. I just want to make this a fulfilling year of life.
• The idea of buying lottery tickets, sex and being able to drink one glass of beer or cider with a meal in a licensed pub accompanied by an adult does not excite me.

What a sensible (boring) and mature (disdainful) 16-year-old I'm going to be.

Dear Lucy,

Today's your birthday. Well, it should be. You should be having a party at the weekend, opening all your rainbow-coloured pencils and generally being incredibly happy. But you're not.

Five days after your 14th birthday, you fell victim to a baffling and rare ear problem. This Monday you will have been ill for two years. You've missed some of the most dramatic, stressful yet amazing times so far. It just hasn't been the same without you.

In reality, it's not your 16th birthday tomorrow. You haven't even had your 15th birthday. Chronologically, you may be 16, but I know that really you haven't even had the chance to live your life properly as a 14 year old.

When you get better, I promise you I'll make both birthdays special. We'll have a huge party, celebrate your new lease of life and get you back on track. I'll be here for you throughout, always. I'll do everything I can to help you repair this.

I just hope you're not too upset today. Remember: today isn't your birthday, it's just another day. But some day, with any luck in the near future, it will be. And things will all be on their way to being okay again.

Sending you love, happiness and good health,
Abby
xxxxxxxxxxxx

Halloween

Next year, I want to dress up properly. Not just a mask or prop - the full thing. I haven't done this much, the only time I did was for Sam's birthday one year where I dressed up as a cow, udder et al.

I don't know what I'll dress up as, but it won't be a cliche Halloween thing.

Anyway, yesterday was fun. Sam got an iPhone for his birthday so we basically played on that the whole day. The chocolate cake I made for him went down very well, but some people took huge slices and felt sick. We watched some weird Christian cartoons, shopping channels and then a bit of the X Factor on his iPhone. I really want one and I do need a phone, so perhaps after my GCSEs I shall get one. I have enough money for it and I haven't even asked for my birthday present for this year yet (my birthday was in May).

The cake has emerged

It's HUGE! Bigger than my head, bigger than any cake I've ever bought or made. I enjoyed making it and so did my mother so I just hope it's been worth it and that it tastes nice.

Tomorrow

I'm going to Sam's house because it's his birthday (yes, it's on Halloween!) As I write a homemade chocolate cake is cooking in the oven. My mother and I aren't very experienced bakers and our kitchen is tiny so I just hope it goes well. Also, Sam's main present is a blue Slanket: http://www.firebox.com/product/2249/The-Slanket?via=ser When I ordered the Slanket it was about £10 cheaper, so I think I bought it at the right time. Hopefully it'll come tomorrow.

It's just so weird to think that Sam's turning 16. I've known him since we were 6! But tomorrow will be great. Unfortunately I'm missing a friend's Halloween party but I made the commitment to Sam ages ago and it's kind of a tradition for me to go and see him on his birthday, so I want to spend the day with him.

Also, it's strange that in less than seven months I'll be 16. 16! Mentally, since the age of 11 I've felt more mature than my years, but I have quite a young looking face. With makeup and the right clothes and hair I could probably look up to 18, but because I always wear my hair up it does tend to take a couple of years off. Oh well, it'll be helpful in the future and my parents and grand parents look much younger than they are so that's a good sign. In fact, my great grandmother remained looking much younger even when she was 100!

We must start somewhere...

...And that's here. And that's me a couple of years getting stuck in the mud. Or dancing - you choose. Hi, I'm Abby and I currently have green nails and pink hands, because:

1) I had to paint my nails green on a moving coach on the way to a Young Enterprise final. My friend Nattakan lent the green nail varnish to me because our company is eco-friendly therefore green seems like a logical colour. Young Enterprise aims to provide young would-be entrepreneurs an opportunity to start a business. My team (in which I'm the Human Resources director) had already beaten eight teams in various other competitions, all of which were older than us, but we didn't win this time. Oh well; it's a huge amount of pressure lifted off of us as we would have had to compete in London in the National Finals against the best schools in the country. So the Young Enterprise dream is over. However, we did win the award for best Health and Safety which I'm pleased about as that was one of my responsibilities.

2) I'm probably too hygienic and wash my hands very frequently especially before and during the use of my laptop. My hands are extremely sensitive to liquid soaps and flare up in a bright pink colour, so though I try to use bar soaps whenever possible the horrific pink school soap that smells of smoke and can't even neutralise food odours on hands is still present in my life on a daily base.

Oh... you wanted to know a little more about me, didn't you? I turned 15 nearly a month ago but I've postponed any birthday celebration or opening of most presents. I don't know when I will decide to hold my birthday, but I don't want to have it now because I'm not entirely happy with life at the moment and I'd like to let thing clear a little in my head before I attempt to celebrate a seemingly joyous occasion.

Regarding the nail varnish, fortunately green is my favourite colour so I don't mind it. But I do think it might be a bit too warm-toned for me. Normally I have a neutral skin tone (and always very pale - I don't allow myself to tan and I doubt I would significantly anyway being of typical Irish colouring) however the pink in my hands contrasts with the warmer green colour.

From birth to the age of 4, nearly 5, I lived in Islington, London. It was just me and my parents in a one-bedroom flat. I didn't even have my own bed, but it was amazing. I don't remember that much of my life there, but I recall enough to know that I don't fit in where I live now. My mother had acquired quite a Southern accent from living there for a few years and because she read to me in this accent I picked it up myself. I never lost that voice even though I've lived here for 10 years.

I've always wanted to move back to London but in recent weeks the desire has gotten much stronger and I'm almost beginning to despise where I live. I know it could be so much worse, but when you're the 'posh' girl who loves museums, art galleries, theatre, coffee shops, libraries, fine dining it can be difficult. Of course, I like all the more normal teenage activities too such as parties, shopping and sleepovers. And thankfully I have an amazing group of friends who never fail to amuse me. I love walking through school and just saying 'Hi' to everyone I know. Some people are truly lovely.

Sorry, I'll try and keep these blog posts much shorter. I'm off to play The Sims 3. It's oddly fulfilling.